Reconstruction

Having a new baby is like losing all your limbs to gain a fuller heart. Many of you know my story, others may not. My life history holds waves of unexpected losses, one after another. My daughter, Ruby Joy, went Home before she turned three years old. My life turned itself over into something that I never saw coming. My husband, Mitch, and I became empty-nesters way too soon, and for many years fought to solve the scream of internal emptiness, without success. 

God in the midst of it has been, is, will always be - my friend, my saving grace.

Aimee Star Luse makes her explosive entrance to planet earth in the middle of May. I now find myself in a dramatic re-construction of my life, internal and external. Baby on my shoulder, hands tied up and down, bottle parts scattered, time swallowed wholly every day by something undefined - is a bold streak of splattering color on the orderly canvas of my "normal." In a sense it is familiar, a simple filling of a spot long empty in my heart. I have mothered a child before, this is not my first baby and its not something one ever forgets how to do. On the other hand, it is complex. I find myself flailing as a novice at a whole lot that I have not touched or engaged with for years. I am pressed to re-define what a successful day looks like, and in that to let go of a whole lot that has defined my identity for some time.

As I navigate this massive reconstruction in my life, I consider Nehemiah re-building the wall, Solomon re-building the temple, Jesus re-building His church. There is great divine purpose in a season of reconstruction. It re-positions us to become more fully surrendered to God. It knocks hard on the idols that we have housed unaware. It remind us that we possess nothing but Christ. It calls us into a future that our hearts sing about, but our minds have not perceived. Seasons of re-construction demand the focus of our internal life, to hang on for dear life as everything changes. These times require a willingness to work hard - by choice - to accept the change that is presenting and move courageously into it.

Friends, a new normal is upon us.
Whether you love it, or hate it.
It's here.
And, you are not a victim of it -
but a King or Queen who inherits it.
What are you going to do with it?

I am finding that I am not the only one who is in a season of reconstruction. There are many people right now who are in this place of watching their lives deconstruct in front of their eyes. As is often the case, my isolated season, and yours, find wings of understanding in the context of a broader movement. I am not alone. You are not alone. We are being deconstructed and reconstructed. It is what God is doing, now.

Friends, we must embrace this time.
The deconstruction.
The reconstruction.
It's pulsing undefined purpose.
Don't fight it.
Let it happen.
Let things change.

Redemption is on the other side of our willingness to embrace change.

Father, reconstruct my life.
You are the potter.
I am the clay.
To you, I say "yes!"

Reflection Question: What would it look like for you to stop resisting change in your life? How can you embrace it? Where is your sense of purpose in the new thing?