I'm working on writing a children's theatre production for summer camps. As is the case with the beginning of any creative process for me, its been hard. I'm sitting in the middle of a pile of ideas with no anchor. They float in and out of my mind and I fail to grab any of them for fear they are not good enough.
Not good enough.
Next to my pile of ideas is my pile of insecurities. Insecurity robs the joy of process and makes it feel like a chore. That pile tends to sit still for me until I try to produce something personal at which point it starts to talk. Fear of failure talk. Not helpful.
Have you been there? Fear of failure trying to direct the traffic of your life?
I recently heard a well-known power evangelist say, "If anyone tells you that stepping out to share Jesus with a total stranger doesn't make them nervous anymore, they're lying." He went on to say that it may become less foreign, but it always requires courage.
I remind myself today that courage is not the absence of fear, but it is acting in spite of it.
Acting in spite of it.
Have you ever had one of your dreams die?
A bomb hits your life and that dream is suddenly gone, out of reach. Or maybe you laid down your dream for the sake of another's needs. Or ... maybe you watched your dream disintegrate as circumstances overcame it. Or maybe … you didn't realize that your dream was stagnant, but years later woke up to a life without it.
Perhaps your dream is to travel the world, to live an adventure, to have a family, to grow a garden, to run a race, to speak, to paint, to succeed in something specific. Perhaps you've always wanted to write a book, produce an album, become an advocate, visit Turkey, go to the moon. I don't know … but whatever it is ...
My message today is simple: its not too late.
Five years ago, I sat in the corner of our tiny apartment and hung my head - low. I had been thrust out of a life of desire and into a life of survival. Curled up in that corner, I was struck by the reality that I would never dance again. My body had changed, my opportunities had dried up, and my sorrow overwhelmed my ability to move.
Create - perhaps.
Teach others - possibly.
But me - myself - dance again?
Not possible. I couldn't see it.
To me dance was a lost dream; a desire snuffed out, an identity buried - beyond recovery.
What I didn't realize at the time was that death is not the end of the story where Jesus is involved. This year has been a wild ride of personal restoration for me. I didn't know that I could be healed; but to my own surprise - its happening. One of the biggest evidences to me of my personal healing is that I am dancing again. This picture is me in my blue jeans; alive in our backyard today.
Its a miracle.
Last night I performed; a short dance piece with a small team in a community church. I felt like a dead man walking; limbs alive with the energy of heaven. I pressed my hands together and raised them to the sky in gratitude. Every subtle movement feels like a gift to me now.
Friends, its not too late.
I thought it was - but its not.
Not for you. Not for me.
Not for anyone.
Because Jesus rose from the dead.
Is there a grave you need to go visit this Easter?
A place in your life where you've resolved that "it's too late"?
A part of you in need of resurrection power?
Jesus is in the business of breathing on buried dreams. I dare you to go roll back the stone on yours and see what you find.
Its the message of Easter; its not too late.
Katie Luse is a speaker and writer who is passionate about navigating life with eyes on a hunt for beauty.